A first , feeling this way ?

This is really the first time , since knowing my Sweetheart , that I feel somewhat
" disappointed " . Yes , that would be the right word , but don't know for sure , if I should feel this way ? It might not be my Sweetheart's fault after all ?

It came about Wednesday night , it was about 23:30 , my time . So quite late , if you think , I'm getting up at 05:30 in the morning . I called my Lao Po , to thank her for the lovely letter I received earlier in the evening . It also been a few day's since talking to her last .

Anyhow , what has me feeling like this , is , since my Qing read's my Blog as soon as I post them and loves them very much . Because it does show her , how much I love her and miss her so tremendously . So , I ask her , if she would like to become a Follower on my Blog ? This would have made her the 11 th follower that I have at this moment . Knowing how important the number eleven is with the chinese , I thought perfect . Well , I checked the next morning ... nothing yet . I was thinking , after work I will go check and I am sure she will be joined by then . But it was not to be , instead " Nik Stanosheck " has signed in as the eleventh follower . Not , that I don't love to have him follow my Blog , it just came at the wrong moment , when I wanted Qing so badly be number " 11 " . In matter of fact , so bad , that I was thinking of just stopping to write into my Blog anymore and let it be for what it now was . This been going through my Mind the last two day's . Why ? Why did she not sign up ? Was it because it is mostly Men that follow or did my Sweetheart have trouble singing up ??
Not knowing this , has me in this mood of disappointment . But is it really worth , making this so important ? It's only a number to many , but as thing's beteewn us have devoloped , there are a few number's , that really do mean a lot to both of us . Like the number " Eight " of course , for our Wedding Ceremony . The number " Eleven " for when I send her Roses , eleven went to her and the 12th to her Mom . The number " Twentyone " because , my Mom's address is 21 , my sister in Baoding address is 21 , my Sweetheart's address has the number 21 in it , and on top of all this , my Lao Po cell Phone number is 1321821 ( three times the number 21 ) , and last the number " Twentysix " because , we both share this day as our Birthday's . To make it even more interesting , on my three visit's so far , my Hotel room number , no matter at what Hotel we both stayed in , add up the room number's and you will alway's find ... 11 --- 21 --- or 26 . Sample : Feb. 5 day's in Shanghai room # 1659 = 21 ; after coming back from Beijing , 3 day's in the same Hotel , received the room # 1758 = also 21 . This been happening since we have met , from day one .
My late wife's and mine wedding date , 05-06-78 =26 ; my late wife died on the 01-24-07 at 66 years old = 26 . I think you get the picture ? This just goes on and on , if we are together or apart , it does not matter .

So , as I am not a believer in Coincidence's , but in Fate / Destiny , this surely show's that Qing and I are really meant to be together and somebody wanted us together as Husband and Wife . This Story need's to be told in a Book , if it's the last thing I do in my Life .

So , having said this and of my Chest , I do feel relieved of this feeling I had , when I started writing this . Maybe I am crazy somewhat , all these up and down Emotions ? Either way ... *** I LOVE MY LAO PO FOREVER ***

It's not her fault , but only mine and mine alone .